How To Raise A Boy: The Power of Connection to Build Good Men

How To Raise A Boy: The Power of Connection to Build Good Men[KINDLE] ❆ How To Raise A Boy: The Power of Connection to Build Good Men Author Michael C. Reichert – Heartforum.co.uk At a time when many boys are in crisis, a much needed roadmap for helping boys grow into strong and compassionate men In this groundbreaking book, a leading psychologist and researcher of the journey At a time when many Raise A MOBI î boys are in crisis, a much needed roadmap for helping boys grow into strong and compassionate men In this groundbreaking book, a leading psychologist and researcher of the journey from boyhood to manhood reveals how narrow conceptions of what it means to be a real boy or real man are hurting boys and the vital role parents and educators can play in creating safety nets for boys Over the past two decades there has been an explosion of new studies that have expanded our knowledge of how boys How To PDF \ think and feel Recently, the MeToo movement has cast a spotlight on the question of how we can best raise boys to be respectful of women In this book, Michael Reichert draws on his decades of research to challenge age old conventions about how boys become men Parents are increasingly anxious that their boys in an effort to be stoic and man like are shutting down In this book Reichert explains how old paradigms about manhood may be impacting our boys and how parents, educators, and mentors can help boys develop socially and emotionally To Raise A PDF ✓ How to Raise a Boy provides those who care for young boys and teenagers the latest insights from psychology and neuroscience to give us the tools we need to help build self aware, caring and compassionate men.

Michael C Reichert, PhD is Raise A MOBI î founding director of the Center for the Study of Boys and Girls Lives at the University of Pennsylvania, and a clinical practitioner specializing in boys and men who has conducted extensive research globally.

How To Raise A Boy: The Power of Connection to Build Good
    Import EPUB to the Program Import EPUB who care for young boys and teenagers the latest insights from psychology and neuroscience to give us the tools we need to help build self aware, caring and compassionate men."/>
  • Kindle Edition
  • 336 pages
  • How To Raise A Boy: The Power of Connection to Build Good Men
  • Michael C. Reichert
  • 17 October 2018

10 thoughts on “How To Raise A Boy: The Power of Connection to Build Good Men

  1. t a n y a says:

    As a mom of boys, I m forever wanting the American education system to do their job better as I think they continue to fail their male students from elementary to high school level This book was interesting with its studies researched although some of the real life experiences were a bit dry and made me skim here and there I don t usually go for books like these because there s no book in the world that can tell a parent how to raise a child I was intrigued by the subtitle and did feel the au As a mom of boys, I m forever wanting the American education system to do their job better as I think they continue to fail their male students from elementary to high school level This book was interesting with its studies researched although some of the real life experiences were a bit dry and made me skim here and there I don t usually go for books like these because there s no book in the world that can tell a parent how to raise a child I was intrigued by the subtitle and did feel the author did a good job at supporting his proof on the power of connnection to building good men that title alone would be best This is not a parenting book.I find the relationships between boys fascinating and it is so different than girls Again, being a mom to boys, I see this from them, their friends, and the experiences raising them through the past 20 years The frustration for me is when you send your boys into the world how will people respond to them, help them, teach them, love them, interact with them As a parent, you know your child very well You have a very good idea how the child will do these things when put in the world but how the world comes back at them can be life changing We as a society tend to takecare in helping girls navigate through these issues and changes than we do for boys Boys, according to the book, have twice the harder time of it in so many areas yet again, they aren t tended to as girls are I wonder how and when this can change

  2. Amanda says:

    I cannot express how profound this book is If you have a son, if you work with boys, love a boy, or just know one I am begging you to read this book Dr Reichert presents the most inspiring, hopeful portrait of boyhood I have ever read He provides compelling research and information on how we are getting masculinity all wrong, how we are damaging our sons and how to fix it Boys are hurting and in turn hurting others They need deep, meaningful connections with others and the ability to expr I cannot express how profound this book is If you have a son, if you work with boys, love a boy, or just know one I am begging you to read this book Dr Reichert presents the most inspiring, hopeful portrait of boyhood I have ever read He provides compelling research and information on how we are getting masculinity all wrong, how we are damaging our sons and how to fix it Boys are hurting and in turn hurting others They need deep, meaningful connections with others and the ability to express the full range of human emotions Such important information As a mother of four sons, I found this book especially powerful I know you will too

  3. Daniel says:

    Boys are over diagnosed with ADHD and do less well in schools and end up in jailoften How can we change this Reichert shared his experience counselling boys 1 Build strong bonds Do not assume any bad behaviour as wilful misbehaving and testing the limits of power Mothers must not withdraw from boys Try and try again Listen and do not give advice attention, appreciation, affirmation Be relaxed when confronted with bad behavior is key Repair is always the job of the caregiver 2 B Boys are over diagnosed with ADHD and do less well in schools and end up in jailoften How can we change this Reichert shared his experience counselling boys 1 Build strong bonds Do not assume any bad behaviour as wilful misbehaving and testing the limits of power Mothers must not withdraw from boys Try and try again Listen and do not give advice attention, appreciation, affirmation Be relaxed when confronted with bad behavior is key Repair is always the job of the caregiver 2 Ban hazing completely Do not tolerate this tradition which the school board usually turns a blind eye to 3 Arrange after school meeting in dangerous neighbourhoods to talk to them, let them play games and chit chat Connections are vital to boys just like girls Rugged individualism has no anatomic basis Boys learn about character from how other people treat them 4 Let boys talk about their emotions and struggles The masculine requirement is harming their emotional health 5 See connection between our own past hurt and the relationship problems with our sons 6 Schooling 4 common misconceptions 1 Boys must act strong to avoid being bullies so do sports to increase their standing 2 Schools are failing boys 3 Boys will be boys so schools cannot help 4 There are different learning styles 7 Connection with the teacher is everything a boy will do it for that someone with whom he has a connection However it is not just all fuzzy warm feelings Teachers need to know their stuff, expect high standards, be responsive to the boy s strength, share a common interest or trait with the boy, accommodate the boy s naughty behaviour, and be vulnerable 8 Good grades and being in the fast lane do not get along Boys are teased if they do their homework and study hard, by the boys at the top.9 They drink, have early sex, bully others, and try marijuana Inside they are lonely and scared Connections with a good friend and family protect boys from self destructive behavior 10 Pornography a strong foundation and good close male senior figure helps Boys find it hard to have normal relationship with girls after watching pornography which is often degrading to women Most boys andgirls prefer committed romantic relationships than hook ups, contrary to cultural depiction of boys always wanting to score Boys with distant relationship with mothers, and whose fathers treat their mothers with disrespect, find it hard to be emotionally close to or respect girls Amazingly, listening is muchimportant than correcting behaviour 11 Health the masculine ideal does not do vaccines, wear sunscreens or seat belts The ideal man also drink excessively, drive dangerously, and takedrugs They dosuicides So boys diethan girls 12 Violence traditional masculine myths such as toughness, dominance, repression of empathy and extreme competitiveness encourage violence in kids And that persists into adulthood Violence observed and heard about 80% of some neighbourhoods affect boys development Violence prevention programs try to avoid fighting, but boys feel that they need to fight to preserve their dignity, show their prowess and avoid being bullied Solution Relationship with caring adults, on top of parents according to the CDC 13 Bullying, hazing only 2 effective methods 1 Talk to parents 2 Whole school anti bullying integration into teaching Staff must challenge bullying victims are empowered, bullies are not tolerated, and their frustrated energy redirected For boys who are already at risk, group therapy intense mentoring, positive reinforcement of good behaviour is effective 14 Social Media explain to boys that images involving pornography and alcohol, and tweets with racist anti social contents will adversely affect their chance of college admission and getting a job Limit their use of social media, and use the smartphone together with boys 15 Incels and men going it alone result from men feeling left behind by social development These include the growing importance of soft skills, the diminishing returns of physical strength, the outsized importance of education, gender inequality, globalisation and immigration Reichert is especially against back to the old days advice from such authors as Jordan Peterson, because they are basedfrom ideology, not evidence 16 Advocate for your son, celebrate boyhood Understand their situation and discuss solutions Stand firm with limits but in a considerate and thoughtful manner Act like a coach Encourage emotional expression, including anger but never violence or other destructive behaviours This is one of the rare books that is evidence based

  4. Kimberlee Auerbach says:

    This book changed how I parent my boys I have a three year old and six year old As you might imagine, they are sometimes hard to manage discipline get through to Michael C Reichert s advice to provide predictable, dependable, special alone time with each boy, to let them dictate what we do, to listen them, even if it s uncomfortable or awkward, even if I am triggered and don t want them to be feeling what they are feeling, to be with them anyway, to stay connected, was all so revelatory to m This book changed how I parent my boys I have a three year old and six year old As you might imagine, they are sometimes hard to manage discipline get through to Michael C Reichert s advice to provide predictable, dependable, special alone time with each boy, to let them dictate what we do, to listen them, even if it s uncomfortable or awkward, even if I am triggered and don t want them to be feeling what they are feeling, to be with them anyway, to stay connected, was all so revelatory to me I loved what he says about every relationship going through a cycle or connection, disconnect and reconnection, and that as parents, we have to show and teach our kids how to reconnect they don t know how to do it I wished I had been parented that way I still, to this day, feel scared and alone when I m in the stage of disconnection This is hard work, but worth the effort I imagine it like meditation You re not going to perfectly erase your mind of thoughts, but you can keep trying to let them go This relational approach to nurturing boys and being the guardian of their boyhood demands open hearted presence I am up for the challenge Are you I hope so

  5. Barrett says:

    I listened to the audiobook, the first time I have ever tried the format This title would be fine for somebody who hasn t read into the topic before However, having finished a couple of other similar works, this was too general, consistently repeating the importance of connection and covering all the stereotypical issues I was hoping to find muchdetailed and creative suggestions for building the father son relationship, perhaps interviewingfamilies with successful outcomes Given I listened to the audiobook, the first time I have ever tried the format This title would be fine for somebody who hasn t read into the topic before However, having finished a couple of other similar works, this was too general, consistently repeating the importance of connection and covering all the stereotypical issues I was hoping to find muchdetailed and creative suggestions for building the father son relationship, perhaps interviewingfamilies with successful outcomes Given the vast quantity of research cited, I felt this book was very thin on helping the reader listener to develop many specific action steps for building connections, and heavily focused on boys with significantly troubled family situations.Also, I am the father of a now 5 and 3 year old This book is almost all focused on adolescents

  6. Sandy Schleich says:

    I could not finish reading this book it was slow and I thought it was a little bit boring.

  7. Lgordo says:

    I really struggled to get into this book, and eventually gave up The structure of each chapter and the writing didn t draw me in Through the expository part, the frequent anecdotes, and citations, I found it hard to figure out exactly what he was telling me to DO I also struggled to follow the author s approach to facts He claims that boys are different than girls and need to be treated differently But he also says boys behavior is sociologically based and that biological determinism is pse I really struggled to get into this book, and eventually gave up The structure of each chapter and the writing didn t draw me in Through the expository part, the frequent anecdotes, and citations, I found it hard to figure out exactly what he was telling me to DO I also struggled to follow the author s approach to facts He claims that boys are different than girls and need to be treated differently But he also says boys behavior is sociologically based and that biological determinism is pseudoscience He also cites copious social science studies that are entirely correlative as if they are fact That said, my skim suggests he s not saying much that most other boy books don t He says to keep the lines of communication open, that boys need mentors, and that they need friendships with other boys His new spin is to say that boys really want to be emotionally open and vulnerable, including with their parents I can believe that I just wish he took less time to say it

  8. Clint says:

    How to Raise a Boy I m doing a lot of reading on menswork , on being a man It s beneficial to me, even at 40 , but it s not necessarily for me I have two sons Two boys Two future men I need them to be better than me The world needs them to be better than me That is the point of every generation, of evolution To evolve To improve To leave those after you better than you, better than those before you The main takeaway I took from this book was in the sub title The Power of How to Raise a Boy I m doing a lot of reading on menswork , on being a man It s beneficial to me, even at 40 , but it s not necessarily for me I have two sons Two boys Two future men I need them to be better than me The world needs them to be better than me That is the point of every generation, of evolution To evolve To improve To leave those after you better than you, better than those before you The main takeaway I took from this book was in the sub title The Power of Connection to Build Good Men Our boys need connection They need parents who are their for them, regardless of their issues To actively listen without judgement To allow them to express their emotions without a man up or suck it up When you get right down to it, the book isn t calling for a lot It s calling for you to be there for your child, mentally, physically, emotionally To put down the phone, to walk away from your work To prioritize them To prioritize their emotions, their development It s a lot to unpack I need to review my notes, to type up a playlist I do realize COVID isn t all bad I m quarantined with these two great young men I get to spend quality time with them To talk, to listen We workout We talk superficially We talk deeply We connect We bond They grow They fee safe They feel protected They feel I have their back Thanks COVID for something

  9. Arne says:

    This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers To view it, click here A gift from Murray Hofmeyr and one that I m very thankful for It s still a little early for me on this one, my boy is only 4 months old but the lessons are profound and applicable in many spheres The premise makes a lot of sense, connection is the way to go about raising a boy and to achieve that, you as the adult need to be the one holding the olive branch Be passionate and knowledgeable about something and listen without judging or giving advice, easy to say I also learnt an interesting wo A gift from Murray Hofmeyr and one that I m very thankful for It s still a little early for me on this one, my boy is only 4 months old but the lessons are profound and applicable in many spheres The premise makes a lot of sense, connection is the way to go about raising a boy and to achieve that, you as the adult need to be the one holding the olive branch Be passionate and knowledgeable about something and listen without judging or giving advice, easy to say I also learnt an interesting word Alexithemia, the condition of not having words to describe what you re feeling Now I know Also the quote any man that hates Women, hates himselfPower The anecdotal experiences are a bit much and I would have preferred a slightlyQuant approach but the message is clear and it doesn t take away from the bigger arc I ll have to go back and read the comments on Jordan Peterson again, Reichert was pretty dismissive of his stance but I didn t entirely get why.Would definitely recommended

  10. Colin says:

    The author defines the challenges boys face starkly, statistically, anecdotally reducing much theory to comprehensible maxims I can certainly do better with my own boys without ever weakening or softening them It s bothersome how unscientific our stereotypes about boys and men are and what individuals and leaders will do to hold on and sustain these stereotypes And yet the current cultural cues spend so much time tearing masculinity down wholesale It seems at every turn the message is tha The author defines the challenges boys face starkly, statistically, anecdotally reducing much theory to comprehensible maxims I can certainly do better with my own boys without ever weakening or softening them It s bothersome how unscientific our stereotypes about boys and men are and what individuals and leaders will do to hold on and sustain these stereotypes And yet the current cultural cues spend so much time tearing masculinity down wholesale It seems at every turn the message is that our boys are the problem They are not the problem and they are not expendable They need to be heard

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